...Like father like son

Ever wonder why our children sometimes do not listen to our advices?...remember one famous motivational speaker said, children are different, they have many things on their wish list...and they like to try things too...they also won't say NO until they have experienced it themselves...you know kinda like...remember Denice the Menace movie?...so if they don't listen don't just give up but keep on reminding them, talk to them...at least 40 times then insyaAllah they will listen and follow your advise...that's what the speaker said...living in a modern day makes it more difficult for us, parents to justify things to our children...they see things differently...they listen to different songs...they play different games...virtual rather physical...hey they live in a different world...just like our old time? stubborn and rebellion ain't it...the more people said NO the more we wanna do it...so try to understand them...bed time talking is good...listen to what they say is just wonderful...you'll realize how much they wanna share things with you including their secrets sometimes...but as a parent we must put some guidelines for them...if you have to say NO then it means No ain'it...my 9 year old daughter ask for a mobile phone...all my friends have it, so why can't I have one? She said...hmm how can you make her understand when almost all her good friends have it right? Of course we can afford to buy her one but is it worth it...she doesn't really need it...hmmm ok you can have it but only when you need to use it...but daddy will keep it...I guess that's the best solution...yesterday I brought my baby son to a clinic and notice an ineteresting quote on the clinic wall...'every father must remember that one day his son will follow his example not his advice'...hahah the best is to give good examples...
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...walk away

...even though i know the answer is a big NO.....sometimes i still wonder can we ever pleased everyone...how can we avoid those misunderstanding...how can we make them understand...hmm i guess the rule is pretty much simple...just accept the fact that what's right for you may be wrong for others...and what's wrong for you may be right for others...so what choice do we have other than simply do our very best...we all have our role and responsibility right?...but should we just walk away, ignore and be insensitive to what others think about us?...we simply can't right?...but trying to understand what other people thought about you is not easy too...sometimes it is just a waste of time trying to do that...not worth an effort...some people will never understand you...as they are just committed to misunderstand you...so the best option is just be true to yourself...don't waste your time trying to be someone you're not just to please others...you'll feel the pain for being fake sooner or later...the fact is not everyone will like you...and that's okay what...just live the life your way...the way that is right for you...remember you could be the ripest, juiciest apple in the world but there's going to be someone out there who just hates apple...so don't think too much...just keep going and keep smiling GG...

...oh my PhD

...i gave a talk to PhD students about two months ago...it was the first session of a 10-series talks so i talked a bit of everything...but one topic that gained most interest from the students was how to deal with supervisor...hmm having a good relationship with supervisor is one of the important aspects in a PhD journey...couldn't agree more...many fails to complete their thesis on time due to poor relationship with supervisor...supervisors are just like us, as human beings they have their own ego...we all have our ego don't we?...and the feeling that our views are always the correct one...the students want some tips...so i simply said...never late to your appointment, don't let your supervisor wait for you, not even five minutes as they have many other import an things to do...be prepared for the appointment...never make an appointment unless you have something to discuss...and don't repeat the same mistakes time and time again...i hate that too...as it shows you are not serious with your work...importantly, respect your supervisor's opinion, don't say a direct NO even if you are confident yours are the correct ones...supervisors would feel comfortable working with students who are confident with what they are doing but at the same know how to respect their supervisors' views...those are few important tips i could share...build up good relationships with your supervisor, gain his/her confidence and trust...then you'll have a smoother journey....PhD is not just about intelligence...it is about everything...hard work, good interpersonal and persuasion skill, self confidence, patience etc...as the journey can be lonely sometimes, you also need good support from your family and friends...i asked the students have they met someone...someone they never met before and never did anything wrong but somehow their inner feeling said 'i don't like him/her'?...hahah i can see many students smile and slowly nod their heads...that can happen to your supervisors too...if that happen, you must work harder...try to slowly build up the relationship and gain their trust and confidence...become a good buddy then you'll be ok...come and see me if you want more tips...its free haha...good luck guys

...Being assertive

...'I can do better than him'...'he is only good at talking'...'I have thought about it long ago'...I think we're all familiar with these statements...the question is why we didn't do it if we really can do better?...or why we didn't speak up if we really have the idea? Can we blame those who did their job or those who spoke their mind? It's our fault for not doing our job or speak up our mind...instead many chose to give excuses for not doing the things they should or not speaking up their minds...I don't really talk about this issue openly but whenever asked I always tell my juniors to be assertive...let people notice your hard work...then they will be more appreciative...but then many people claimed they're not looking for reward or recognition to justify why they keep mum...but at the same time they complaint when people don't recognize their hard work...I believe speaking up our mind is not apple polishing...normal human beings love appreciation and recognition...and that positive feeling would motivate one's productivity...not to become arrogant...this is the reality...we live in a very competitive environment...everyone has their own agenda...so those who are more aggressive in selling their ideas will win and be at the frontline...just speak up your mind...but of course with a substance and remember to say it with a smile...as long as you don't hurt other people's feeling and you work with honesty, then you'll be OK...remember one lady (a Dean) when I attended a conference in Tokyo earlier this month...it's amazing to observe how she 'market' herself and her institution...I know her personally...what she said is not much different from others and her institution is also not that excel but the way she put and organize her thoughts makes all the differences and sounds extraordinary...people quickly notice her institution and her expertise...can we blame her for that?...no I don't think so, it requires a special skill and experience to do that...
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...Why change?

...I recently had a good chat with the chairman of a very successful agency...very few government agencies are as successful and many actually failed...he has been leading the agency for about 8 years now...together with the management team, they have transformed the agency from a modest beginning (started with a small grant from the government) into a successful one (with its own building and other assets and a big savings)...its existence has benefited many especially poor families in the rural areas (and they are beginning to help urban poors too)...few have in fact become a millionaire and more than 90% of its members are now out of poverty...that success doesn't come easy, it certainly requires hard work and commitment from all...and its noble spirit of helping the poor...their hard work have put a smile on many faces of the poor families...its success has been recognized by many both local and abroad...however sharing its success story comes with a big price as many now notice its potential...it creates envy among many interested parties including greedy politicians...who would like to take over the agency...claiming that they can do better bla bla bla...he told me that the government would review the board members and management team...I wonder why...corporatization certainly won't help...it would deviate from its main objective...with this kind of agency, profit certainly is not the main objective...in fact should never be one...while profitability would help sustain its existence (in fact that shouldn't be the issue as it is always profitable and manages to pay 6 months bonus to its staff members last year) but it has bigger agenda...to help the poor people...we have had many examples of the failure of corporatization (though I don't want to name them here)...so why change when the current model is proven to be successful...life can be so unfair sometimes...
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...WISE

...just attended a 2-day convention on women in social enterprise (wise)...a joint project with ministry of higher education (mohe) and amanah ikhtiar malaysia (aim)...we were appointed as the secretariat to oversee the running of the program...aim is an agency established to eradicate poverty in malaysia whereby women are given a small loan to start business...so far aim has eradiacted more than 300,000 families out of poverty...glad that wise has turned out to be a very successful project...it is a win-win project that benefit both parties, students/lecturers involved and aim's friends (sahabat)...students learn from their adopted families about business and the families learn from the students the correct way of doing business...they learn cash/financial management, marketing etc...the project involves about 500 students from various HEIs and about 250 aim's friends/businesses...on the second day of the convention, students and lecturers were given the opportunity to share their experiences and to give feedbacks and suggestions to improve wise next project...in my closing speech I said that I'm happy to hear all the experiences and comments especially the negative ones...to me the more problems the students have or faced during the program the happier I am...it means that we have achieved the main objective of the program, to instill entrepreneurial spirit among the student...innovative & breakthrough thinking, quick decision making, use of common sense, self confidence, taking risks & opportunities etc...I asked all participants to reflect (positively) their experiences...how they adapt to a different environment, how they react and respond to the problems/issues, what decisions have they made, is it a good one or a bad one, what lessons have they learned from it...those are the lessons that they won't get from the classroom...they won't learn much from a perfect system...that's the noble idea of the program anyway...
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...tokyo

...just came back from tokyo few days ago...my second trip to japan...a nice country with very disciplined people...this time i went with my wife...attended a 2-day abest21 conference...abest is an alternative accreditation body based in japan, which focuses on Asian countries...we had the opportunity to tour tokyo and akihabara, a famous electronic city, though my wife was a bit upset because we missed ginza, a famous shopping area...you know ladies...kinda not complete without shopping...we also managed to visit fuji mountain...pretty cold there -1 degree...but very nice view, yellow and red leaves surrounding the beautiful mountain...then back with a bullet train...pretty fast, was told it ran at 250km an hour though you won't feel while on board...anyway, what's interesting about japan is that you can hardly find rubbish bin but what's more amazing is that you can also hardly find rubbish...hmm the city is very clean...also the country side that we visited...the people are also very dedicated with their jobs...love japan...