...jakarta

...i was in jakarta about 3 weeks ago...giving a keynote speech at a conference there...it was about CSR and the role of business schools...i've also arranged a meeting with the CEO of 2 oil & gas companies in jakarta...asking for their participations and sponsorships for our Global Energy Management Forum to be organized in september in kuala lumpur...you know i have few good friends in jakarta and they know i was in jakarta...one of them invited me to bandung after the conference...he said '...lets go to bandung and stay overnight there, do some shoppings and then go back to jakarta the next morning'...i was a bit reluctant because i have 2 important meetings the next day...he however said, '...don't worry we have plenty of time and the traffic is not gonna be bad...this is not weekend bro'...i then said ok. the traffic flow was ok and we arrived bandung around 8pm...had some good foods and chit chat before heading to the hotel. the next day we managed to do some shoppings...for wife and kids...and headed back towards jakarta around 11am...traffic from bandung to jakarta was very smooth...so no worry about the meeting...i will be on time i phoned them...it took about 1.5 hours to reach jakarta (i mean the jakarta toll), but then i saw the road was packed with so many cars...we were just 10 kilometres away from the meeting place but somehow it took us more than 2 hours to reach it...i almost missed the first meeting...about 40 minutes late...then continued with the second meeting at the same venue...i headed straight to banten after the meeting...banten is about 25 kilometres from jakarta...i had another friend there who wanted to meet me...again, it took us more than 2 hours to reach banten...hahaha that is jakarta you can never predict the traffic flow there....

react versus respond II

...what is the difference between react and respond....i have learned many lessons in my life...many regrets too...used to be a very hot-tempered person (still do sometimes), in which i often react and do/say stupid things rather than think first and then respond...ok this what i've learned...'respond' means acting in a measured and thoughtful manner...one who take time to think through situations (and take a deep breath) before acting are able to respond in a reasonable and appropriate manner...hence fewer regrets...on the other hand, react means letting one's emotions drive the actions...and often behave in ways that are inappropriate...reacting often leads to regrets and apologizes...anyway, we all learn our lessons...

react versus respond

...yesterday, one of my PhD students came to my office to discuss his proposal...as always he's very enthusiastic about his work...explained all the improvements he has made over the past few weeks...yeah generally his work has improved...a lot really...but there are still few issues that need to be addressed...as usual i would give my comments, explaining areas that need further improvement...based on my observation, rather than listening carefully to what i said, he just can't resist from reacting to every comments i made...hmm i have my own ego...everyone has that i guess...i would prefer my students to listen and 'respond' whenever ask...remember my conversations with one of senior professors about the differences between react and respond...he said one should respond rather than react...to be continued....

...leadership

...read quite a number of leadership books over the past few years…but not many impress me or challenge my own beliefs and thoughts about leadership…i found most books are quite similar in contents and discuss about the same things…same tips same advises…but there is one book i like…the one authored by Dale Carnegie…the book is not about leadership but more about human relations…how to win friends and influence people…one does not have to show power or authority to lead…not all the time at least…like Mr Carnegie i also believe that leadership is about trust…a very simple rule…a leader needs to win the trust and confidence of his/her subordinates…especially people around him/her…without that one can never lead…but i recently notice the emergence of a new style of management…interrogation or mafia like…which make me feel really sick…probably one forgets one needs to 'gain' the respect…how do you feel when someone was rude to you and didn't hold you with much regard?...how did you feel?...annoyed?...peeved?...i think being authoritative and directive only show one’s lack of quality and idea...one just need to open one's eyes wider and listens more...being 'honest' or 'truthful' can't be the reasona for bad behavior...as there are better ways to say NO for example...like Warren Buffet's style...he just wrote a letter to his CEOs once a year reminding them of their responsibility to the shareholders...a good reminder to us all especially myself...cheers

...kids and human relation

...my family and i went to Hong Kong last month…of course the place we would not miss was Disneyland…i have four kids but the happiest one was my youngest daughter…she was so happy by the time we boarded the airplane…just can’t stop smiling all the way to HK…she was so excited and already planned to buy souvenirs to her friends and teacher…and to tell them about her exciting trip to HK…we especially the kids had real fun there…visited Disneyland and of course some shopping…my daughter was so busy when we visited souvenir shops…no worry as her dad will pay all the bills...these are for my friends and those good ones are for my best friends (she had 4 best friends) and favourite teachers…she thought they must be very happy to have those souvenirs…we flew back to Penang after 4 days and 3 nights in HK…we arrived home after mid night…instead of going to sleep my daughter was busy organizing the souvenirs to her friends, her favourite class teacher and of course her school books…she slept around 2am that night…however, when  i came back from work the next day, i saw her sad face…she did not greet as usual...i hugged her and asked why she looked sad…she then told me she gave all the souvenirs she bought in HK to her friends, best friends and her favourite teacher…but…she told me the teacher did not say anything to her …she just gave a plain look at the gift, took it and continued with her work without saying a word or showed any emotion of thanks…that’s very rude i said to myself…she should have at least smile and say thank you…i tried to calm my daughter by saying i’m sure she likes your gift and appreciate it very much…may be she’s busy with her work and forget to say thank you…at least all your friends are happy and appreciate your gifts… that event took her 3 days to forget…sometimes kids are better than grown ups when it comes to human relation ain’t it?…